hackCRAZY STEP
by Kirby02137
Summary: My first .hack fic...hopefully I can see good things in its future! '-'
1. Signs, Lettuce, and Mistaken Ethnicities

Disclaimer: ...I don't own .hack or anything related to it, aside from my own characters. Bandai, please don't shoot me! hides  
  
Anyway...on with the randomness! :D  
  
.hackCRAZY STEP  
  
Chapter 1: Where's the Exit?  
  
Kirby: Hello everyone, and welcome to--...

Tsukasa: This isn't a game show, what are you doing!?

Kirby: Oh yeah. Um...where's the cue cards!? -cry-

BT: . -run around screaming about evil lettuce dinosaurs haunting her dreams-

Subaru: -walks by BT, arches an eyebrow- ...O.o

Sora: ..

BT: ..But, but, the lettuce...!

Sora: Will you shut up about the lettuce, Miss Bacon-and-Tomato? -blammed-

BT: :O

Sora: Ow. X.x

Kirby: AAAANYWAY! I-- -cut off-

Tsukasa: Enough, you're behind the scenes! -shove authoress backstage-

Kirby: HEY! ;.;

Crim: I hope you aren't paying us for this.

Kirby: I'm not.

Tsukasa: Damn! :x

Subaru: .. What would I do with pay, anyway? It's fake pay.

Others: Point achieved. :D

Kirby: HEY! I resent that! Unless you want me to stop the stoooory...

All: O.O Nooooo! We'll do anything! Anything!

Kirby: ...Anything, you say? -grin-

-Later, Kite (who refused to be let in at the next chapter so self-inserted here) is standing in an Uncle Sam costume while Tsukasa and Subaru are running around in Santa suits.-

Kite: I don't know why I agreed to this. I'm dressed up as an American icon. I'M JAPANESE, DAMN YOU! :O

Tsukasa: Beats running around in velvet and wool in the MIDDLE OF JULY!

Subaru: I'm hot in this. I want out. :/

Kite: Can't, authoress' orders, remember?

Both: Yeah, yeah. -sweat-

-Sora and BT are dressed up as, respectively, a giant head of lettuce and, well...BT.-

BT: AAH! NO! GET AWAY FROM MEEEE! -bats Sora with her wand-

Sora: Ow, ow, OUCH! Damn you, woman, watch the pointy apparel!

BT: Silence, fiend! -run away screaming-

Sora: -sweatdrop-

Crim: (Thank goodness for hiding in the rafters...)

Ginkan: (I'm just glad I wasn't here.)

A-20: (Could've just snuck back to Bandai and stuff.)

Both: (:O Really?)

A-20: (No.)

Both: (Damn!)

Chappy end! XP Hope you like it! Review, since you already READ... 

Tsukasa: Eh! Now I feel like I'm in menopause thanks to you!

Kirby: Well, you said you'd do anything.

Tsukasa: ...Meanie. ;.;


	2. Insert lookalike fights here?

Disclaimer: ...I don't own .hack or anything related to it, aside from my own characters. Bandai, please don't shoot me! hides  
  
Anyway...on with the randomness! :D  
  
.hackCRAZY STEP  
  
Chapter 1: Signs, Lettuce, and Mistaken Ethnicity  
  
Kirby: Hello everyone, and welcome to--... Tsukasa: This isn't a game show, what are you doing!? Kirby: Oh yeah. Um...where's the cue cards!? cry BT: run around screaming about evil lettuce dinosaurs haunting her dreams Subaru: walks by BT, arches an eyebrow ...O.o Sora: .. BT: ..But, but, the lettuce...! Sora: Will you shut up about the lettuce, Miss Bacon-and-Tomato? blammed BT: : Sora: Ow. X.x Kirby: AAAANYWAY! I--cut off Tsukasa: Enough, you're behind the scenes! shove authoress backstage Kirby: HEY! ;.; Crim: I hope you aren't paying us for this. Kirby: I'm not. Tsukasa: Damn! : Subaru: .. What would I do with pay, anyway? It's fake pay. Others: Point achieved. :D Kirby: HEY! I resent that! Unless you want me to stop the stoooory... All: O.O Nooooo! We'll do anything! Anything! Kirby: ...Anything, you say? grin Later, Kite (who refused to be let in at the next chapter so self-inserted here) is standing in an Uncle Sam costume while Tsukasa and Subaru are running around in Santa suits. Kite: I don't know why I agreed to this. I'm dressed up as an American icon. I'M JAPANESE, DAMN YOU! :O Tsukasa: Beats running around in velvet and wool in the MIDDLE OF JULY! Subaru: I'm hot in this. I want out. :/ Kite: Can't, authoress' orders, remember? Both: Yeah, yeah. sweat Sora and BT are dressed up as, respectively, a giant head of lettuce and, well...BT. BT: AAH! NO! GET AWAY FROM MEEEE! bats Sora with her wand Sora: Ow, ow, OUCH! Damn you, woman, watch the pointy apparel! BT: Silence, fiend! run away screaming Sora: sweatdrop Crim: (Thank goodness for hiding in the rafters...) Ginkan: (I'm just glad I wasn't here.) A-20: (Could've just snuck back to Bandai and stuff.) Both: (:O Really?) A-20: (No.) Both: (Damn!)  
  
Chappy end! XP Hope you like it! Review, since you already READ... Tsukasa: Eh! Now I feel like I'm in menopause thanks to you! Kirby: Well, you said you'd do anything. Tsukasa: ...Meanie. ;.; Chapter 2: Insert Lookalike Fights Here?  
  
-Tsukasa enters, now back to normal thankfully, followed by Elk.- Tsukasa: Um...huh? -notice Elk- Uh...you look like me. Why? Elk: Do I really have to answer that? Tsukasa: Yes. Elk: Aw. I was hoping not. Well, uh, I do NOT know. :D Tsukasa: ... Okay then. O.o -Elsewhere, BlackRose and Mimiru are arguing over who copied who. Again.- Mimiru: You copied off of me! BlackRose: Did not! Mimiru: It's clearly seen that you copied off of me! BlackRose: :O -dive on Mimiru- Kite: ...This is boring. Shugo: Yeah, watching our respective ganguro girls fighting... Both: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME! :O Kite: Crap! -run- Shugo: Just for the heck of it...-runs too- Reki: ...Um...Should we help them? Magi: Nah. Let's sit and watch! Reki: ...Okay then...-both grab seats in a tree- Bear: (Finally, I get a part...) Orca: -they pull a fight like in GIFT, except with butter knives instead- Kirby: (Whaaat? I have to keep this G yano.) Natsume: -thinking about how to get a Golden Grunty- A-20: -thinking same thing- Both: HEY! -cat fight as well-  
  
Whee, chapter 2 done :D Revieeeew! Tsukasa: Yay, I wasn't tortured with artificial menopause! BT: At least you're not ACTUALLY going through it. Tsukasa: I didn't need to know that. Kirby: As for reviews: Dale- Thanks lots XD Glad you liked it. 


End file.
